The series stems from a past and present pervaded by manipulation and the struggle gaining back control. Being manipulated by those I love, and forgiving them countless times just to be emotionally manipulated again causes a deep hurt.
Although I now can recognize it happening, I still am weak when fighting kindred bonds. In an attempt to gain back control over life, I engaged in self mutilation and continue to struggle with it. Combating the urges by physically cutting into self-portraits is a way to gain power back when I feel powerless.
Manipulation of the self is vital to this series. The portraits are photographed in settings that are safe and nurturing such as my current living space, childhood home, and nature. In contradiction to my body physically being in a “safe” space, having altered the image through cutting, stitching, inserting textiles and obscuring the figure reflects how invasive and all encompassing being manipulated can seem at times. By returning to what is seen as traditional “feminine” media such as textiles and embroidery I am calling upon powerful women of the past to guide me, and reminiscing on sewing projects I worked on with both my mother and grandmother.
Covering the figure in colorful, floral patterns grants me the power to do what I wish was possible to achieve in reality: make the hurt and pain disappear under a nice warm blanket, a security blanket.